Out of Sorts (Sirius)

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Harsh yellow rays bathed the red and gold of the common room in stark light and shadow.

Despite the warmth of the outside world, the hearth of the Gryffindor common room sported a cackling fire. Remus stared into it numbly. People passed by on the way to drop off their school books and again as they left for the grounds, paying him little notice. His eyes were fixated on the leaping tongues of orange, his mind on something entirely different.

Remus was drastically out of sorts. His longtime friend, Dorcas Meadowes, had turned out to be something a little more than just that. How long had he been so oblivious? Those shy glances across the hall, those tentative hands on his arms and shoulder, those pink cheeks hidden by the slightest nervous turn of the head... he had always thought that perhaps this was Doe's sweet nature. Maybe it was, maybe he was being silly. But at the lake... how would Professor Logic explain that?

As his thoughts buzzed angrily around in their nest, his exterior was steely and unmoving. Dorcus had run away; what did that mean? That was it, the nail in the coffin... he was a terrible kisser, wasn't he? Well, what was to be expected? He had never been in a relationship before. A relationship? This wasn't a relationship, was it? You couldn't call one awkward kiss-and-run a relationship.

But then... what came next?

For the first time in what seemed like ages, Remus stirred. He buried his head in his hands and uttered a languished cry somewhere between a low moan and a bear's grumble. Maybe he could just sit here forever. What kind of Gryffindor was he, anyway?

[Sirius Black]

Sirius had been outside, doing God knows what. Whatever it was, however, caused him to re-enter the school with red cheeks and a sly grin on his face. It was a rather warm September day, and he was trying to enjoy the last of the pretty girls in their skirts, particularly without their tights on. Unlike his dear friend, Sirius hadn't had much drama lately, and he was enjoying it. It seemed like every year inevitably brought something, but so far, so good. Then again, it was only September.

Sirius jogged his way though the corridors to the Great Hall where he quickly downed a cup of pumpkin juice, and then headed up to Gryffindor tower. The redness in his cheeks had subsided, but his hair was still plastered to his forehead in sweat. He was looking forward to a long shower, but when he came in, he quickly noticed Remus. He figured his mate could deal with him being less than clean considering the pair of them had froclicked around as animals on a regular basis. He walked over just as Remus began to bury his face, and the noise that came out of Remus' mouth made Sirius snigger.

"Out of all the people I know, surprisingly you make the worst animal noises," Sirius pestered as he plopped himself down into a squashy armchair. "What's with the fire? Isn't it hot enough already or are you trying to roast yourself to death?" he questioned somewhat irritably. He had come to the Gryffindor common room to cool down, not to be hotter than when he was outdoors.

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The empty common room was growing rather toasty, on account of the fire. Remus did not notice the creeping warmth in the slightest. It was an inconsequential tickle in the back of his mind, buried beneath the dirt incessantly shoveled by the hands of over-examination.

"...or are you trying to roast yourself to death?" A familiar voice prodded. Oh, Sirius was here. Remus looked up momentarily. Sweat clung to his untidy hair and the faintest tinge of pink played at his cheek. He looked as if he had been around the castle a few times with an angry dog at his heels... except for the fact that Sirius was smiling. Scratch that. Remus slumped back over.

"You look dreadful," Remus observed. His voice was muffled, due to the positioning of his face: smashed affectionately into his elbows.

He had hardly noticed the undesirable heat until Sirius mentioned it. He still didn't do anything about it, mind. Remus was expending too much energy through the sheer process of thought, and didn't think he had it in him to move.

"I didn't turn it on," Remus mumbled through a mouthful of shirt sleeve. Or maybe he had, he didn't remember. Force of habit? He waved his hand absently, motioning for Sirius to extinguish the flames.

[Sirius Black]

If Sirius could read minds, he would have been amused by Remus' thought of an angry dog chasing his heels - as if that would bother him! He would just transform and no doubt chase the dog back. Naturally, however, he could not read minds. He noticed that Remus looked rather, well, moody, but Sirius wasn't the one who kept up with astrology and therefore never knew if it were close to a full moon. Did a full moon make Remus moody? They weren't really things Sirius thought about. Besides, Sirius usually gave his mates a chance to explain themselves if they looked grumpy before Sirius hassled them and wanted to know what was wrong - mainly because he himself usually needed a minute to collect himself when he was being moody, which was rather frequently, actually.

"Thanks, you look dashing yourself," he replied cheerily. He ran a hand through his hair, which made it stick up in random spots. He saw his shadow, however, and quickly flattened his hair. Unlike his best mate, Sirius' hair was usually rather manageable.

Sirius didn't need any further motivation to extinguish the flames. It didn't matter anyways, as the room was still rather bright. He sat there, looking rather happy for no particular reason and just waited for several moments. Being the impatient boy he was, however, it didn't take him long for him to turn in his chair and say rather insensitively, "So why do you look like Father Christmas just gave you coal?"

Sirius had given him plenty of time to explain - hadn't he?

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Oh no, Remus sighed internally. He was getting the Sirius treatment. Whenever one of Sirius' closer friends seemed down, he would - in his own special way - being the arduous journey of cheering them up. At least, that was what Remus told himself Sirius meant to do. At times, his methods were quite questionable. Remus would remind himself that his friend's heart was in the right place, if not modestly aslant. He had to admit, sometimes it helped not to bury an issue under a blanket of a day's deep thought and promptly cast it off to sea.

Remus looked up to see his friend staring at him expectantly from a nearby chair. He didn't need to ask what Sirius wanted from him; he was of course meant to fill him in on what had been so troubling him. Remus hardly had any time to weigh upon the matter before Sirius expressed the predicted sentiments in a humorous - though not singularly gracious - manner.

A thoughtful frown tugged at his lips, contrasting Sirius' eternal, joyful smirk. "Dorcas." He said simply. His eyes glazed over for a moment before he snapped back out of his periodic stupor. "Something kind of happened. Well it wasn't my fault, I didn't even know... but I'm confused."

Remus was vaguely aware that he wasn't being extremely helpful, but all the same pressed his lips together and said nothing more. Sirius had a sort of sixth sense about him regarding these sort of things, Remus wasn't even sure how much had to be acknowledged verbally before he got the picture.

[Sirius Black]

Sirius' methods were not much deeper than what Remus believed. The biggest downside of his treatment, though, was that Sirius had a habit of, well, over-reacting. To almost everything. Whether it was good or bad, Sirius was sure to show more emotion than whoever was actually going through the situation. Sirius was just really close and rather protective of his friends, and it was a trait that he just couldn't help - not that he wanted to. Although his impulsiveness got him in to trouble a lot, it also sometimes helped others (even the person didn't know it immediately) and that sometimes was what made Sirius not care about his tendency to over-react.

Was Sirius nosey? Of course he was. It was something that someone instinctively was, especially when one was as transparent to what he was thinking like Sirius. Since he was always so open with his friends, he naturally expected the same in return, even if it weren't always what he got.

"Dorcas who?" Sirius asked, lazily the moment Remus had said her name. He wasn't good at names at all - he would most certainly need some sort of description. It didn't matter as Remus apparently left the planet for several moments. Sirius took the opportunity to pick something out of his teeth. He was grateful when Remus returned. Sirius raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "Oh yeah? What happened?" his thoughts instantly turned to Remus' biggest secret, and he became a bit irritated. No, it wouldn't be that. He was sure something bigger would have came from it - he was sure his usually calm friend would also be in a panic.

Of course, Sirius wasn't really getting the picture. The idea of anything romantic happening to Remus seemed... Impossible, almost, so it really wasn't even close to Sirius' first thought. He just sort of sat there like a lump on a log, looking for more information. "Come on, spit it out," Sirius said, impatiently.

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Remus fixed Sirius with one of his - patented, by now - irritated stares. Sirius would be well-used to the look by their sixth year in Hogwarts, as the two did not always agree, but Remus was usually too mellow to fit his complaints with words. He sat up and stretched his arms, perfectly aware that his selfish moment of quiet confusion had ended.

Meadowes. Hufflepuff, Remus grunted, ironing out a cramp in his shoulder where the hunching had made it stiff. Seventh year. Tall, pretty face, he added, assuming that Sirius would ask. She was, after all, there was no reason not to acknowledge it. It did feel better now that the common room was a good five degrees cooler, but Sirius' dark hair still hung in disheveled curls, damp with sweat. Remus was vaguely aware of his own hair, ruffled from intimacy with the sofa cushions and now petulantly sticking up every-which-way.

"We were going for a walk by the lake," Remus recounted, his recollection of the proper conventions of speech returning with the change in posture. "Well, I suppose it was less of a walk and more of a... sit. Anyway, we were just talking when she leaned over and... I guess we kissed? No, I don't know what I'm saying; we did. And then...

Remus trailed off, feeling slightly embarrassed about what came next. He was so horrible at these sorts of things.

[Sirius Black]

Sirius wasn't oblivious to Remus' frequent irritated stares, Sirius just would never let himself get bothered by it, particularly anymore. Instead, he just found that staring back as if nothing was going on was the best method of defence. He wasn't sure if it irked Remus when he did this, but he didn't really care. It amused Sirius, and that was all that really mattered. Besides, if he allowed his panties to get in a twist every time Remus looked at him like that, Sirius highly doubted they would be friends.

"Blonde?" Sirius asked, going through his mental images of all the tall, pretty girls he could think of. Sirius couldn't help but wonder if Remus was blind or silly: there were tons of tall, pretty girls at Hogwarts, and Sirius didn't really make it his mission to know every single Hufflepuff girl, especially by name. Besides, for all he knew, Remus' idea of pretty could be completely skewed compared to Sirius'. He had an image of one girl in his mind, but he wasn't exactly sure if she was it.

Sirius was pleased when Remus ended his vow of not saying anything but looking grumpy and began his story. Sirius looked onward with curiousity. Sirius let out a bark of laughter.

"Kissed?" Sirius repeated after Remus. That certainly wasn't the story that Sirius was expecting to hear. Perhaps that maybe Remus fancied her a bit or something, but not that far. "I'm so ashamed that you hadn't told me you even fancied some girl before you tell me the story of kissing her," he continued, jokingly offended by his friend's non-disclosure. He laughed a bit more before finishing with, "Anything else, or was that all? Did you just get up and throw yourself in the lake or something?" he questioned in reference to Remus' suddenly embarrassed-looking face.

Sirius really was enjoying himself. The whole conversation caught him off-guard, but now he was so interested, he didn't even remember that he had come in to take a shower.

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Remus had assumed that Sirius would know exactly who he was talking about. How many Seventh Year Hufflepuff girls did he have a habit of consorting with? It wasn't as if they were strangers; the two spoke fairly often, despite not having shared classes. Then again, Remus supposed that Sirius wasn't the type to busy himself with the names and faces of the companions of his friends... even the more attractive ones.

"Dorcas Meadowes," he said plainly, rubbing his eyes. "And no, she's definitely more of a brunette. But I would have told you if I had known I fancied her. In fact... I still don't. I'm not thinking straight." Remus pointed finger crookedly at Sirius, as if to set something straight from here-on-out. "But," he said matter-of-factly, she kissed me."

Sirius' laugher lightly struck a chord with Remus, but he didn't think much of it. This was the reaction he would have expected, had he known to expect one at all. He hadn't come up to the common room on a bright, lovely day to find company.

Sirius' comment about throwing himself in the lake made Remus blink. "No," he frowned, feeling defensive. He wasn't in the mood to joke around, though he was aware that this wouldn't stop Sirius. "Though it looks like you've yourself been for an afternoon swim." She, er... she, umm..." he managed, chewing on his lip. "Oh, for Heaven's sake. She ran away."

With that, Remus toppled back over, smothering his face with the fabric of his shirt. He groaned again, thoroughly discomfited and hopelessly confused.

[Sirius Black]

Sirius did have a rather serious issue with remembering names. If he saw Dorcas in person, he'd know who she was in a heartbeat. Perhaps not by name, but the face could potentially bring a name to the forefront of his mind. He was just silly like that, and he didn't know why. Unless someone went out of their way to tell him their name, he just associated by certain characteristics: overly developed for their age, crazy eyes, etc, etc. He doubted very much if Remus was going to describe any girl in such a way. Remus repeated her name yet again, but it wasn't like it was helping much, no matter how many times he heard it.

Brunette... Sirius sifted through girls in his mind. Brunette Dorcas... tall, pretty... he thought he had an idea, but kept his mouth shut. He figured one more mention of not knowing who she was or thinking he knew who she was only to be wrong might cause Remus to try to curse him or something.

"So you've started a habit of snogging girls you don't like?" Sirius asked in a teasing voice, his face still lit up with humour. "What are you doing, mate, turning into me?" it was more of a joke than anything. Sirius didn't actually snog as many girls as he got credit for. Many girls said he did, but he didn't mind as long as they didn't look like trolls. In fact, he wasn't even sure the last time he snogged anyone. Flirted, certainly, but not snogged. "Watch out, you might get yourself a reputation."

He doubted very much this was the case. As arrogant as it was, Sirius probably was having a hard time picturing Dorcas because deep down, he doubted that she was as pretty as Remus claimed. It was a very asshole way of thinking, but Sirius always assumed subconsciously that Remus would never get a girl that was up to Sirius' standard, mainly because, well, Sirius was better looking. It was something that Sirius wasn't always consciously aware of, and if he was, it would make him feel like an ass.

Sirius wasn't offended by Remus' statement. He knew he looked like garbage, which only reminded him that he needed to shower. Unlike Remus' apparently somewhat surly mood, Sirius was the opposite so he just grinned. When Sirius heard Remus' statement about Dorcas running away, he couldn't help it... he burst into a fit of laughter.

"You really that much of a terrible snogger?!" Sirius demanded between laughs. He really didn't know how insensitive he was being. He had no idea that Remus was being a bit self-conscious. He couldn't help but laugh more when Remus hid his face away. When Sirius managed to calm himself a bit, he finished with, "No, but really, it couldn't have been that bad. Maybe she had an appointment with a Professor or something? Have you seen her since, or...?' he was legitimately trying to be supportive at this point. As far as he was aware, Remus never had a romantic interest before, or whatever this was.

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Remus sat up, disgusted at the insinuation. "Of course not! He protested, staring at Sirius as if he couldn't believe what he had just said. Remus never had been in favor of having a relationship outside of a relationship... if that made any sense. "It's not like it was voluntary, Sirius." Feeling bad for saying it in such a way, he rephrased it. "I mean, I suppose I never really thought about her in that way."

It was true. He hadn't thought of Dorcas as anything other than a friend, nor had he the slightest inkling that she might be interesting in something more. He was a bit thick when it came to stuff like this; not that it happened often.

Remus snorted at the bit about "getting a reputation." As he was sure Sirius was presently thinking, it wasn't plain to see that Remus wasn't a ladies man. Besides, it would be difficult to snuff out the reputation he had already earned. Remus had often felt that he wasn't the most attractive person, in personality or in looks. It seemed that all the girls wanted someone more outgoing, more funny, more interesting than him. Beyond that, Remus was rather plain looking and sported unmanageable hair. He often looked tired, pale, and sick due to his condition; not to mention those scars.

When Sirius launched into another bought of laughter, however, Remus' expression soured. He frowned at the light verbal punches and decided that it was probably best not to indulge him. "An appointment with a professor?" He scoffed. "Really, Sirius. But no, I haven't seen her since. I mean, it happened all of an hour ago."

Remus shook his head. The sun was sliding down from its afternoon perch and peering nosily through the top of the window. He squinted, shying away from the unwelcome radiance. "You're good at this sort of thing, aren't you?" He asked, feeling exasperated. "What, should I just ignore it?" The suggestion felt like a bad idea the moment it escaped his lips. Perhaps Sirius could be prompted into giving him some useful advice now that he had been thoroughly entertained.

[Sirius Black]

Sirius was actually a bit offended by Remus' protest about being like him. Was it really so bad to be comparable to Sirius Black? He never really thought so. Apparently it was. He knew no matter what, Remus wouldn't actually try to offend him like that. He supposed maybe Sirius' personal values weren't what Remus wanted for himself, but it was still a bit of an 'ouch' moment. He grinned anyways, ignoring his momentarily hurt feelings.

"You're saying she assaulted you via kiss?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "Maybe you never thought of her that way for a reason," he suggested. "Just because someone is interested in you, doesn't mean you have to like them back." he added, wisely. Sirius was a bit of a master of the unreturned feeling. He always found it awkward, though. True, there had been one or two occasions where a girl laid a move on Sirius where he realized, 'hey I can see myself maybe pursuing her after all,' but not only did he never actually pursue them, he realized that he didn't really actually like them that way, and they just smelled nice close to him and that they were pretty.

Sirius couldn't help but let out a laugh at Remus' snort. Sirius loved snorts, he thought they were hilarious.

"You're hanging out with me after a girl kissed you and then ran away?" Sirius asked, astonished. "You should have ran after her or something. Maybe you were her first kiss. Maybe she was just embarrassed or something stupid." he dug into his pocket and found a candy. He unwrapped it almost slowly and then popped it into his mouth. If he was having this big of a conversation with Remus over a kiss, he could only imagine the proportions of a sex talk if Remus ever went there. Not that Sirius had sex before, but he figured he knew enough about it.

Sirius relaxed his shoulders a bit, hung his head back and closed his eyes for a moment. He actually thought about the question. He could hear in Remus' voice (finally) that Remus was actually clinging for some sort of useful answer, and Sirius didn't want to let him down, although he didn't know what to say. Sirius had never been in a situation like that before. Finally, after a while, he opened his eyes again.

"Well, I certainly wouldn't awkwardly avoid her," he said, simply. "If she ran away because she was all nervous and then you ignore her, you can be guaranteed that she's going to think you're some kind of ass," he raised his hands in the air in front of himself. "Not sure how, exactly, but girls have a knack of turning things around on you like that. If I were you I'd get my wits about me and go talk to her. Be all awkward if you have to, I'm sure she might find it..." he paused, and then shook his head. He didn't want to describe his friend in any way that wasn't platonic sounding. "Just go talk to her is all I can say. Considering she didn't slap you or yell at you or say she was making a mistake, there's probably some kind of miscommunication."

Sirius congratulated himself in his head. Look there, he did have a more reasonable and helpful side after all. He went a whole minute or two without cracking a joke at his friend's expense and actually gave, what he believed to be, reasonable advice.

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Remus professed himself thankful that Sirius had finally settled down and was now being reasonable. Himself being so terrible a kisser that girls picked up and ran away after the traumatic experience was not something that he wanted to classify as within the realm of possibility. Depending on Sirius' mood, it could take him an impressively long time to ascend from the land of jabs and good-natured insults to the practical one which Remus usually inhabited.

"But, I don't know..." Remus trailed off slightly. He stared into the cackling remnants of the fire, which continued to issue a steady wave of feeble heat. "I suppose I didn't think of her that way because I assumed there was nothing there. Is it silly to notice that there might be something there now that I know there is a chance?"

He didn't want to admit that he shut himself down before even allowing himself to fancy a girl. Fear of rejection was enough of a turn-off for him; he supposed Sirius wouldn't quite be able to sympathize. Still, at disclosing this truth audibly, Remus felt a small spark ignite. Who was he kidding? It was Dorcas; she was sweet, kind, never cross, funny, and - now that he had finally acknowledged it - she was very pretty. A warm feeling welled up within him, evidenced on the surface by a slowly spreading smile. He couldn't synthesize something so potent, could he?

He listened to what Sirius had to say. When he tried, he could really bring Remus to his senses. He nodded slowly, taking it in. "You're right," he admitted, knowing that Sirius would relish those words. Dorcas hadn't seemed angry or embarrassed after the kiss - well maybe a little, regarding the latter - and now he did feel like an ass for not pursuing her. What was she thinking about him right now? His chest lurched at the terrible possibilities that surfaced in the worst part of his brain. Coward and jerk were definitely among them. "You don't think it's... you know, a little too late?"

[Sirius Black]

Sirius never really thought of really making jabs at his friends, but rather just making jokes. It was the difference of opinion that made them different people, naturally. If it really bothered Remus, Sirius supposed he would tell him. Then again, it might just be one of those opinions that Remus kept to himself because they were friends. Realistically, what would Sirius ever do if a close mate of his told him that he needed to cut it out? He didn't think he would be able to change. It was ingrained into him almost like having grey eyes or even his last name.

Sirius sighed softly, but not in an exasperated fashion. "I suppose so, Moony, but I'd make sure of that before I went any further... make sure you're not just fooling yourself into thinking you like her," he advised. "Remember Natalie from fourth year? Same deal. I mean, we talked, we had been in the same House but you remember how that turned out..." Sirius never really had a clue that Natalie had liked him. One day, she had said she liked him, and because her eyes were a pretty shade of blue and she smelled like lavender, Sirius had kissed her... only to realize that he really didn't have feelings for her at all. She had been a year younger, and although it was just one tiny year, it was a big year between thirteen and fourteen. She hung off him for a long while, and the more she did, the more her pretty shade of blue eyes reminded Sirius of that one time he vomited after trying a weird alcoholic drink for the first time, and he couldn't get rid of her. He even told her he wasn't interested, to which she had replied, "Oh, you will be." She had been so confident, so eventually Sirius had to get a girl friend of his to hold his hand down the corridors to make his point to Natalie. It seemed like a good plan until he woke up from a nap in the common room covered in what looked like a mixture of pumpkin juice, feathers, and some sort of ingredients usually used for Potions class. Not that he expected that of Dorcas, but one never really knew. Natalie had seemed nice, as well.

Sirius smiled at Remus' 'you're right' comment. It was always nice to hear, especially because he usually got scoffs for his ideas.

"It's not too late unless she's just running around kissing random boys," he said, returning to being just a little silly. "I mean, if I walk out in the corridor and she plants one on me, I'm not sure if she's the one for you. Otherwise, she's probably being like every other girl and hiding out in the common room with a friend, going off about how stupid she is, or she's in her dormitory staring at the ceiling wondering what's going on. Best bet would be to find someone who can let her in the common room..."

It was just a random guess of where she could be, but it seemed logical. For all he knew, she could be hidden away in the library. He didn't know her that well - even if he stupidly couldn't put a face to the name.

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Remus rolled his eyes. Of course he remembered Natalie, one of Sirius' more dubious conquests. Sometimes he had trouble remembering which of the girls Sirius had flirted with, that was, until he caught one of them shooting Sirius dirty looks in the hallway. Natalie, though, was hard to forget. She had turned out to be slightly unhinged.

Wait, was he insinuating...? "Oh, that's rich, Sirius," Remus joked, in much better spirits now. "So if she fancies me she must be off her rocker, is that it?" Remus knew that Sirius wasn't implying that Dorcas was loony, but the idea was funny.

Sirius' silliness returned slowly. He had never been able to maintain straight-talk throughout an entire conversation. Remus grinned at the thought of Dorcas making her way through the male population of Hogwarts. It was definitely not a fitting image. Not her, she was definitely not the type. Besides, if any girl could fancy both Sirius and Remus, she would have to have quite widespread tastes. Despite being the best of friends, the two were in many ways as different as day and night.

"Not to disagree with your divine advice," Remus said, finally thinking straight, "But I think I may let it simmer. At least for today. She needs some time to think, I'd reckon, since she ran like the Hounds of Hell were at her heels." For some reason, the dog-at-your-heels metaphors were just coming to Remus today. Whatever might have been summoning the image, he didn't know. It was amusing, though.